Another problem connected to or perhaps caused by my depression is a lack of self-worth and confidence. Since I've started this blog I find that I continually return to check my stats. I check to see who if anyone has viewed my page. I check, with baited breath, for comments that are never found. I do this and my confidence and self-worth drop in degrees. How foolish, how sick, is it to seek validation in a space as vast, cold, and impersonal as the internet? Still it is, like so many things in this depressed life, another attempt to grasp at something, anything that might be a positive. Funny how the mind turns this attempt into such a negative.
I should have never become a teacher. I should have studied Neurology. Perhaps then I would have a better understanding of exactly what is so wrong with my brain. Alas, dear reader, alas.